Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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