member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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