She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
