it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
bring money and cleavage
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
