Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
