would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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