Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
