Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
