i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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