i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My bed smells like the plague
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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