We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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