it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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