I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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