one might say we're banned from that church
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
