oh god was she eating orange peels again
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
