Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
