My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
