dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
