Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
