Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
