I think I am morally bankrupt
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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