i was rollin on her like bob the builder
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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