Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize