My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
