I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
