If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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