Christians are straight up FREAKS
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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