Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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