Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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