I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
