He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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