She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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