I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize