I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
