how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
