Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
