He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
