Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
