So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have post one night stand depression
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