she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
