Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
