Cold hands, warm shart.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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