Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
