whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
