I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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