id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
