anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
