do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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