fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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