It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Small penises have feelings too.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
