So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
