i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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