Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
