so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
