I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
its not stalking. its research.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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