Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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