Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
