like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
